CEO
Message from the CEO -- Belonging and Inclusion
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Ph.D., CEO
Human beings are social animals. All of us want to belong. The membership drive of belonging can best be understood in thinking about inclusion. In fact, inclusion is a word that is used in a number of paradigms. Elected officials talk often about the politics of inclusion. This is the notion that all people are welcome and needed in democracy. When people are included they belong to the political process.
The paradigm of human services also uses the concept of inclusion has a core ingredient. Here social service workers talk about including people with disabilities and differences into the mainstream of community. The entire notion of deinstitutionalization is drive by the goal of inclusion.
In thinking about cultural membership and inclusion, we must have full appreciation for what it means to belong. The best way to analyze this is to think about your own sense of inclusion in the cultures that you hold membership. I would imagine that everyone reading these words feel included in their cultures. In fact, I know it. The reason I know it, is that most of us (unless you are a glutton for punishment) do not stay in places where we are not accepted.
Think about this. How many times have you been pulled to a party by a friend who was invited, only to realize when you get there, you do not know a soul. As you grope and bumble around the party you are really thinking about how you can leave. We don’t like to stay in places where we are not accepted.
This happened to me recently when I was invited to a gathering by a friend. This fellow is always game to participate when I invite him to my gatherings, so I could not say no to his invitation. I wasn’t excited, but I thought it would not be bad. When we arrived at the gathering, my friend knew most of those in attendance and began to circulate amongst his friends. I followed him around, sheeplishly, hanging on to elements of his conversation. I couldn’t wait to leave.
As I continue to think about belonging and inclusion I am called to reflect on those things that tie to the concept. What is it that signals inclusion? How do you know when you belong to a group or culture? What happens in those experiences when you really feel included? When I pose this question in training session I hear a variety of thoughts. People tell me that inclusion is tantamount to being welcomed, respected, honored, loved, involved, considered and the like.
For me inclusion, belonging and community membership boil down to 3 major themes. These are:
- Being Acknowledged – This is when people reach out to you and acknowledge you as a person. Being acknowledged is to seem at having something to offer, to be relevant.
- Being Appreciated – Here is when we feel valued to the point that others care about what we bring to the community.
- Being Accepted – To be accepted is to become a part of the community in a formal way; to be a player.
Perhaps the most illuminating example of inclusion for me came about in the most unsuspecting way. I was off to make a presentation in the mid-west and found myself caught in a flight delay at the St. Louis Lambert Field. With plenty of time on my hands, and my reading material already devoured, I began roaming the airport to kill time. I happened upon a “Cheers” bar and decided to grab a bite. After my order was taken and I did a complete scan of the bar I noticed that they were showing old reruns of the “Cheers” TV show on the monitors.
So I am watching these episodes in St. Louis and it hit me like a tone of bricks. All of these characters belonged. They were included just as they were. The culture worked. Then I focused on the theme song as each new episode was aired. Do you remember the “Cheers” theme song? If you do, you will recall that one of the lines is: “I want to be where everyone knows my name; and they are always glad that I came” and then it hit me. This is the definition of belonging and inclusion – to be where people know our name and are glad that we came.
Cultural membership is a two-way street where we feel acknowledged, appreciated and accepted. It is a dynamic experience that affects our feelings. You always know in your guts if you are included.
Al Condeluci welcomes comments or questions regarding his words of wisdom. He can be e-mailed at acondeluci@ucppittsburgh.org
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